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lost-in-ikea: glam00ur: all 46 excuses on my friends wall,  1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow 2. we can’t all be usain bolt 3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late” 4. i had pe first period do you blame me 5. i really, really didn’t want to sing 6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates 7. you can’t tell me how to live my life 8. #YOLO 9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic 10. there was a freak yachting accident 11. i am a fucking retard 12. this is just for my wall 13. do you even read these 14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop” 15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction 16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight 17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win 18. traffic jammy jammy jam 19. how can i go to school when alex turner 20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her 21. i was sticking it to the man 22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity  23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued 24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset 25. my meth lab caught fire 26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be 27. i was sad 28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely 29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag” 30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth 31. 2 kool 4 scool 32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen 33. i tried 34. i’m sorry i’m late       it’s not my fault       my auntie was killed       and i joined a cult 35. a haiku about lateness: late late late late late late late late late late late late  late late late late late 36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking 37. i was fashionably late 38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg 39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me 40. do 41. you 42. even 43. read 44. these 45. i was fighting al qaeda 46. traffic YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN the post that doesn’t age
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lost-in-ikea: glam00ur: all 46 excuses on my friends wall,  1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow 2. we can’t all be usain bolt 3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late” 4. i had pe first period do you blame me 5. i really, really didn’t want to sing 6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates 7. you can’t tell me how to live my life 8. #YOLO 9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic 10. there was a freak yachting accident 11. i am a fucking retard 12. this is just for my wall 13. do you even read these 14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop” 15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction 16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight 17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win 18. traffic jammy jammy jam 19. how can i go to school when alex turner 20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her 21. i was sticking it to the man 22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity  23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued 24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset 25. my meth lab caught fire 26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be 27. i was sad 28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely 29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag” 30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth 31. 2 kool 4 scool 32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen 33. i tried 34. i’m sorry i’m late       it’s not my fault       my auntie was killed       and i joined a cult 35. a haiku about lateness: late late late late late late late late late late late late  late late late late late 36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking 37. i was fashionably late 38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg 39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me 40. do 41. you 42. even 43. read 44. these 45. i was fighting al qaeda 46. traffic YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN the post that doesn’t age
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lost-in-ikea: glam00ur: all 46 excuses on my friends wall,  1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow 2. we can’t all be usain bolt 3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late” 4. i had pe first period do you blame me 5. i really, really didn’t want to sing 6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates 7. you can’t tell me how to live my life 8. #YOLO 9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic 10. there was a freak yachting accident 11. i am a fucking retard 12. this is just for my wall 13. do you even read these 14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop” 15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction 16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight 17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win 18. traffic jammy jammy jam 19. how can i go to school when alex turner 20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her 21. i was sticking it to the man 22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity  23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued 24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset 25. my meth lab caught fire 26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be 27. i was sad 28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely 29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag” 30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth 31. 2 kool 4 scool 32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen 33. i tried 34. i’m sorry i’m late       it’s not my fault       my auntie was killed       and i joined a cult 35. a haiku about lateness: late late late late late late late late late late late late  late late late late late 36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking 37. i was fashionably late 38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg 39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me 40. do 41. you 42. even 43. read 44. these 45. i was fighting al qaeda 46. traffic YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN the post that doesn’t age
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lost-in-ikea: glam00ur: all 46 excuses on my friends wall,  1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow 2. we can’t all be usain bolt 3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late” 4. i had pe first period do you blame me 5. i really, really didn’t want to sing 6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates 7. you can’t tell me how to live my life 8. #YOLO 9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic 10. there was a freak yachting accident 11. i am a fucking retard 12. this is just for my wall 13. do you even read these 14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop” 15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction 16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight 17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win 18. traffic jammy jammy jam 19. how can i go to school when alex turner 20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her 21. i was sticking it to the man 22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity  23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued 24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset 25. my meth lab caught fire 26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be 27. i was sad 28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely 29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag” 30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth 31. 2 kool 4 scool 32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen 33. i tried 34. i’m sorry i’m late       it’s not my fault       my auntie was killed       and i joined a cult 35. a haiku about lateness: late late late late late late late late late late late late  late late late late late 36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking 37. i was fashionably late 38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg 39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me 40. do 41. you 42. even 43. read 44. these 45. i was fighting al qaeda 46. traffic YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN the post that doesn’t age
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lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop”

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: p1ants)

carry-on-my-wayward-butt: deanisanactualprincess: dontkillbirds: miau-is-me: luvr4photography: radiogrimshaw: annathemoony: soupnbananaz: littleartemis: radiogrimshaw: radiogrimshaw: ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm i know there are some writers who follow me please take note I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina. So writers, take note. jesus h. christ I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches. Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow. Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER. A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely. So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice. This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give. Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you. ive learned a lot today omg i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this #huge dicks are like communism I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^ #huge dicks are like communism can someone please put that on a shirt you’re welcome
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carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

deanisanactualprincess:

dontkillbirds:

miau-is-me:

luvr4photography:

radiogrimshaw:

annathemoony:

soupnbananaz:

littleartemis:

radiogrimshaw:

radiogrimshaw:

ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm

i know there are some writers who follow me

please

take note

I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.

So writers, take note.

jesus h. christ

I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.

Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.

Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.

A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.

So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.

This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.

Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.

ive learned a lot today omg

i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this

#huge dicks are like communism

I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^

#huge dicks are like communism

can someone please put that on a shirt

you’re welcome

(Source: speedwalking)

girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom
girlinrowb: theroseinbloom: themarysue: your-snowflake: cherrispryte: Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003) Oh. Sobbing. Okay. why am i actually crying at this It’s just raining on my face. Ugly cry. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man. I miss this man
Zoom

girlinrowb:

theroseinbloom:

themarysue:

your-snowflake:

cherrispryte:

Fred McFeely Rogers (March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003)

Oh. Sobbing. Okay.

why am i actually crying at this

It’s just raining on my face.

Ugly cry.

Both of my grandfathers died before I was born so Mister Rogers was like my grandfather.  He told me stories about kings and queens and talking cats and taught me how to tie my shoes and would sing me songs.  I never missed an episode and I truly miss this man.

I miss this man

(Source: lemonyandbeatrice)

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